Today, I hope to leave for Kenya and the things I had concerns with, I have no more. Prayer answered: God took away some fears I had about traveling. Now, my concern is just simply for my heart. My heart has been in a little rut the past couple of weeks and has felt like it was at its max in the past few days. The anticipation for the trip has been much and unfortunately, I took it out on a person I love the most. Like I said in my previous blog, I believe there have been things thrown in front of me trying to prevent me from going, but each time I feel God there saying “Stand up and stay strong. Lean on Me; have faith.”
On my last day at Camp Summit, I walked out of the building, able to rejoice in what God was doing even though I had no idea what was to come and still is to come! I got in my car, turned on the radio, and just sat in the midst of Him for as I drove. I felt like I had been standing on the ledge since January 27th and now, I had just jumped off. I was now completely in God’s hands with no security of a job or a paycheck, but full security in Christ. I began to laugh out loud. It was a great feeling of comfort and peace and excitement.
I know God has something great because the enemy is trying to be very involved with things in my life. The joy that God has put in my heart, the enemy is trying to take away, and I do ask for prayer about this. I am so excited to see what God is doing in the lives of the kids at Naomi’s Village. I am praying that I get the opportunity not to just love on them, but to share the greatest Love of all with them and with others around. My focus about this trip has been to love the kids and to learn something about God along the way. But wow – it is so much more than that. It is to love the kids like Jesus loved me – so that they might know Him, love Him, and spend ETERNITY with Him. It is not just to learn something about God. I yearn to really know Jesus more. I don’t want to continue on this journey of being on the end of receiving great blessings, but I want to give my heart and soul to serving and living my life for Him because He is worthy of that. He is worthy of me being labeled as “unemployed” for this portion of my life; He is worthy for me to lose my life because I know that I will gain it in Him. (Matthew 16:25) He is worthy; He is worthy; He is worthy of so much more than I give Him in my everyday life, and yet He still delights in me and loves me in the midst of my selfishness, pride, and all the other yucky stuff. I am His beloved and He sings over me in delight. (Zephaniah 3:17). I am so grateful.
To end more on a silly note because I am not the best at always being serious:
The past couple of days, I prayed to be upgraded on the plane. Well, since I my flight got cancelled yesterday, two great things happened: 1. I was able to worship once more with the body of believers from The Village Church and 2. I was upgraded because there was no more room on economy!!! I was real excited (and makes me super excited just typing about it right now). I’ve never flown anything besides economy, so I think I might stay awake all the way to London to soak it up a bit. Haha
God is so good, even in silly prayers we pray as a joke. He is good with the people that I have been blessed to know. Words cannot express how much love I have for people and my prayer is that I begin to show that a whole lot more than what I have been. (1 John 3:18: Dear Children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with action and in truth.)
Thank you and I look forward to writing again from Kenya.
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