The first week of Vietnam has been pretty busy.  God has been evident and moving, & the enemy has definitely been on a mission to destroy and hurt.  Today specifically seemed like a pretty rough day.  It was the first day that I got a bit emotional.  I will have to explain once I see you in person!  J 

This week, God has allowed us to work in an orphanage, do feedings for people surrounding this community & take the kids to the beach.  Today we will head back into the city and visit the slum on Saturday.  My heart is extraordinarily excited about being there. 

The most fulfilling and God-revealing event so far in Vietnam has been the feedings.  This trip for me has been more of a go with a flow.  I had an idea of what we were doing, but never any full details because of my lack of reading the emails. Anyway, I initially thought the feedings were just for people around the community who needed food, but when we got to our first feeding, the majority of the people had some sort of disability.  Within the first 2 minutes, I spotted all 3 people there who had Down syndrome, the multiple people who I thought could have some form of Autism, and then the ones with physical disabilities.  I was in my zone and absolutely grateful and blessed to be there.  The people there were the poorest of the poor and the “most disabled.”  I never seem to put any experience into words very well when I am overseas, but this week has been challenging in some ways that I haven’t faced before. God showed me more of what it is like for people with disabilities in another country – ones that aren’t in an orphanage – but where it is much more raw.  They live out in the middle of nowhere & travel a good distance to get a bag of rice and a box of flour.  They are also given some water and little bits of some other stuff.  For some of these people, taking their kid with a disability out of their home means facing teasing, bullying, physical pain from just a walk, - but in their eyes every single step is so worth it.  They get food to live off of for what will hopefully be a good while. 

There are moments that I have in the midst of some of this sadness – I have moments of asking God why these people with disabilities have to – not only face this type of  suffering but why do they have to ENDURE this suffering for so long.  More than likely they will live in this poverty & outcast for the rest of their lives.  Who knows how often these people actually get food.  They hardly get out of their houses – I am sure.  It’s almost a miracle that many of them were even at the feeding.  They may never have a job – they may never get married, they may never even have running water.  Their lives seem to have such a narrow view.  The things that we have seen and know will probably be things that they will never see.  Opportunities that we have they will not have.  They may NEVER know anything greater.

As God always does, he gives me love taps and says – if they KNOW me, there is NOTHING GREATER!  All what I consider to be this standard of goodness is absolutely nothing compared to the love of God.  He sustains.  He provides.  He does not turn His back.  He is very aware of every single person’s circumstance.  He is there – even if I don’t see where He is in all situations.  It’s not even for me to decide – God is sovereign – He is good.  He is worthy to be praised.  He is the reason I should want to wake up in the morning.  And as these people take each step to the feedings with courage, hope, pain, fear – we too are living this life in the same way.  We live in fear of what tomorrow will be – we feel pain, but when we see the light at the end of the tunnel – we live each step, each day with hope, with courage & no fear.  We have faith & trust in the One true & living God & a yearning for eternity with Him.

On my heart so much lately:  Psalm 145.  (take a look)

Blessings,

Lindsey

Team Bonding

Because I am terrible at blogging … here goes my 2^nd attempt:

Goodbyes were quite healthy this year.  I definitely cried but kept well composed for myself for the most part.  I was actually really surprised!!  I do believe that was and is being pushed back until later but I’ll cross that bridge when it gets here.  I did have a little break down on the plane! J This year, China was just everything I could’ve asked for.  I went to hug the neck of a little boy and came back with more than just that.  I entered China with a prayer for confidence: confidence in the Lord and confidence in myself & who God created me to be.  I leave with these prayers answered and all I can continue to ask God for is more of Him.  I want to have full confidence in knowing that God has everything in control therefore I do not have to worry or be anxious about anything. 

This past 10 months, I have felt a little out of my own skin – just not quite myself so I have been begging God to allow me to have the confidence in who He has made me to be without fear or hesitation.  The trip was fantastic in so many ways – not only with the kids, but with the people whom God placed on the team I joined.  It has probably been one of my favorite teams to be on without a doubt.  I love the process of getting to know people & discovering their God-given gifts.  I love seeing how it all plays out when they are serving the kids at the orphanage as well as doing life in a new culture.  Each person served well and gave it their all.  Even though the reason for going is to serve God by serving the kids, God works wonders by allowing you to meet people who have the same passion as you do from all over the world.  We had 8 Canadians, 4 Brits, 2 Americans, and 1 Australian. 

Like I said, my prayer was for confidence, because of my recent lacking, and because of the bonding this team had with one another – I feel like I have gained a piece of that back in just the past 2 weeks.  I can’t even describe an exact reason why, but God worked through them in my life to help with this.  I know that I am leaving China feeling full of life again.  There is something so special about having experiences like this with a group of strangers from all over who become good friends in a matter of 2 years.  The meaning of the word “Church” is revealed – Church is not a building but a gathering of people with hopes of the same goal … to worship the ONE TRUE & LIVING God – to spread His love throughout a community in need to hear & see the gospel of Jesus Christ – to love kids in need of a simple hug.  How amazing is it that God allowed us to be a part of this picture He is painting. 

Blessed beyond words can describe,

Lindsey   

First Few Days ...

Here is the first official update of the summer fun with the kiddos – finally. 

We have now spent 3 days in the orphanage and things have been going very well.  There are some pretty amazing people that have come together from all over the world to be on the team that I was able to join with.  Like I’ve said – one of my favorite things is meeting people from everywhere just to share the things that we have seen of the Lord all over the world – outside of the little bubble I live in.  It’s a beautiful picture of what the church body is and what it was created to do.

Being back in this country is wonderful.  I get to see a society again that does community like I don’t see back at home.  Community wide dancing, Tai Chi on the streets, singing, carnivals (normal – not a structured event) families together – this is China and it is a beautiful place with some beautiful people.  It’s not all what you hear on the news, even though that is some of it just as any place is with their weaknesses and sinful nature. 

As far as being back in the orphanage again … of course it has been simply wonderful to walk through the doors again! It is great to see the growth that has happened with the kids, the facility, the staff, and the community around the orphanage.  International China Concern (ICC) is, what I think, an organization that others can look to as a model of how to truly help countries struggling with resources or avenues to help those with disabilities.  They not only provide support for the kids, but are coming alongside the government to partner with them in order to better care for the kids.  As this has happened over the years, the community has witnessed the ongoing acceptance of the special needs population and has begun to want to help. There are staff members working in this place who have chosen to go against their parents’ desires of working in such an environment because they believe that these kids have meaning and a purpose. 

As far as the little one goes – I think if I were to every adopt him – I’d have to get him to call me “BIG SISTER” because the word “MOM” is scary to me…. Not because my mom is scary (because she definitely is not) but it makes me feel old.  Hehe  Silly, I know.  I think he’d enjoy calling me big sister anyway.  Well – we have gone into his room several times and he has socially grown a lot.  Last year, he paid a lot of attention to me – we did almost everything together: color, puzzles, playground, basketball, racing, sand …  This year, he has been sharing his sweet spirit with the 3 other volunteers in the room just as much.  Now, I can tell you honestly that yesterday, I was a little sad that maybe he wasn’t connected to me like he was last year – but God reminded me that it is growth for him.  I really think that inside of his heart – he knows something is special – but we have yet to both figure that one out fully. 

When he talks about something or gets set on a topic – he will continue over and over and over again talking about that topic.  Yesterday, he was set on getting us 4 volunteers to draw pictures of one another.  So he’d run to one of us, have us draw the other one, then laugh and run to that person and do the same thing.  This went on probably all afternoon.  Today, it has been him establishing where everyone was from. Me: America, Luke: England, Abe & Julie: Canada.  He says “I’m coming to America, then will go visit Canada, but go back to America.”  Today he told the other volunteer that he wanted to come to America to live with me.  For me, I feel this is crazy that this little boy has an insight and something planted inside of him to desire this … and actually verbalize it.  He is young and has special needs, but his sweet little heart still desires to have a family and live in a place where he has no idea what it is like.  Today, I was reminded about the last day at the orphanage last year – how I felt like I broke this boy’s heart when I left. I have no idea what this year will be like for him – but I am starting to think it is going to be another hard goodbye for me. It is crazy for me to wrap my mind around the emotions that this little boy feels inside. Since I have been a little discouraged, this statement from him was a sweet reminder from the Lord that said “He still loves you.” 

Kids at this orphanage get adopted – they go home – to a family, but many of them do stay at the orphanage and live the rest of their lives without one.  It blows my mind that most of these kids have never experienced that and will never experience that – so I have to continue to ask myself and ask you – what can we do about it?  What will we do about it?  I can’t even answer the second one myself right now because I get in the way before I can fully answer the question.  I know exactly what can be done about it – but the question is – WILL I?  WILL WE?

The Adventure Begins: Written in Boston on June 10. 2013

I am currently sitting on the plane to Boston to start the travels for Summer 2013.  My hope?  Be intentional. Have a purpose.  Let that purpose be Jesus…because it IS the purpose. 

Too often, I get going on a trip and tend to forget why I am going… not that I forget about Jesus, but I don’t feel like I spread His love with the full potential I know He has given me.  I get caught up in the things I see around me. I always have felt that God has given me a purpose to do something out of the ordinary so, to me, it can be disappointing if I don’t measure up to my own standard – but I have to constantly ask myself … is what I am doing measuring up to the standard that God has for me?  If I leave people with anything on this journey, I pray that it is a better understanding of the gospel.  Truth. Love. Compassion. Hope.

I realize just how blessed to have the opportunity to go on these trips – and to tell you the truth – this is where I feel I come alive.  I know that God is with me always, but being overseas seeing all of God’s people is a way that He fuels me and gets me so excited about life (this is just one of the ways amongst several, but a major one in my life.  Without the church (body of believers) coming together to send me, I would not be going – so I am beyond grateful for the prayers and financial support that is given.

This weekend in church, our pastor said “We don’t go to where God is, we ARE where God is.”  This struck some strings in my heart because of how this past year has gone.

This past year of my life has seemed like a whirlwind of emotional chaos and busyness.  As soon as I got back, I hit the ground running to find a job … and it happened.  I got the best job a person could seriously ask for!  There have been several emotional ups and downs this year with friendships, the film, family, and I have felt distant from the Lord – even when I knew that He had not left or turned His back.  Things would happen around me and all I would want was to jump on a plane and be away from it all … and “Go to a place where it mattered.”  As you probably know, this is very wrong thinking because my job as a believer is to BE where I am and to LOVE those around me.  Yes, God has given me desires to go overseas, but it is not something that should cloud my view from what God is doing right in front of me.  So, I know it is our responsibility as believers to go to the ends of the earth, but it is also our duty to step into our own backyard and do the same thing we would do in another place.

One thing I always do when I board a plane is look around at the people and just take it all in.  When I look around right now, I see businessmen, a guy sitting next to me who is my age who desires to be a personal trainer, families, foreigners going home, hurt people, happy people, and those just taking it one day at a time.  It is here where my heart begins to be awakened by God to see ad realize that all these people God created in His image.  It is such a beautiful sight to see diverse cultures in one place and with one goal.  Typically everyone on the plane has one goal – to make it to the destination safely … This turns my mind to life in general.   What is our one goal in life?  Many people strive for happiness and look for it in so many different things: material things, relationships, sex, drugs or alcohol, self-image, wealth, … when, in time, those things are promised to fade and will never fulfill our desires of “happiness” – there is only One thing that satisfies that.  You guessed it – Jesus.  He brings us not happiness – but an everlasting joy that is rooted within us even when we may not feel it.  The joy that is given to us is given to us by God.  It is not happiness – happiness is so temporary while JOY comes and dwells in our hearts for eternity.  On this life’s plane ride, we will experience turbulence – we are not promised a smooth sailing flight – but one that is guaranteed to have turbulence.   It’s in those times that we ought to cling hard to the Lord so that in good times, we can look to God and see where He has brought us.  The Lord is good and merciful.  He is with us always … wherever we may be – literally and figuratively speaking.

As my good friend Maury says “Joy trumps!” 

So,…. I think I got on a soap box, but these are the letters that God typically takes things a different direction than what I had planned.  So grateful for those times.

Whatever this says, I hope that it encourages you wherever you are. 

Blessings & love,

Lindsey